if I'm only motivated to act by adrenaline, by the sense of a deadline, or perhaps the ultimate deadline, which is death, and that simple disappointment and dissatisfaction is something that I will lazily shoulder and bear up until that point, then this spells a trainwreck, a wasted life, and I am well on my way toward that end, having done or left little to be proud of. If I don't scare myself, get off the tractor that I sat on at age 13 dawdling, dreaming, waiting for ambition to strike me, I will end a bitter failure. i need to lay down principles to reverse course now.
1) bannish laziness
2) do nothing halfway that matters
3) set real deadlines and meet them
4) don't deviate
5) and don't coddle yourself with the notion that you are wrecking your dream inspiration. it will survive. trust me.